Award-winning actor and writer Derek Heeren brings his one-man show, “I Suck: A Vampire Comedy,” to the Los Angeles area for a two-night engagement this weekend, delivering a supernatural midlife crisis just in time for Halloween.
The production, which premiered at this year’s Hollywood Fringe Festival, kicks off Saturday, Oct. 24, at 7 p.m. as part of Namba Arts’ Playwrights Splash Festival in Ventura, followed by a Sunday matinee Oct. 25 at 3 p.m. during Spookyfest at the Hobgoblin Theater in Hollywood.
Directed by Guy Picot and produced by Jessica Glassberg, “I Suck” follows Stan (Heeren), an immortal who discovers that being a vampire actually sucks. Instead of wielding dark power and ancient riches, Stan has spent centuries making catastrophically bad choices. Today, he’s stuck in a dead-end job as a middle manager in Toledo, Ohio, living paycheck to paycheck with eternal failure-to-launch syndrome.
Stan’s latest crisis hits when he realizes he feels a kinship with humanity because, technically, they’re all his descendants. Unable to feed on his own extended family, Stan embarks on a quest across heaven and hell to break his vampire contract, crossing paths with a chatty St. Peter, a bored demon named Larry, and Satan himself.
Equal parts sharp comedy and existential satire, “I Suck” pairs supernatural absurdity with a relatable look at modern life’s overwhelming obstacles.




